Author: Sandy Vaile
​First published in Hearts Talk ezine in August 2023
​

One way to bring readers closer to fictional characters is to get inside their heads and show their thoughts, to provide intimacy and insight to readers. But is the only way to do this to italicise them? If not, what other options are available to authors?

Formatting internal thoughts in fiction is a subject that causes a great deal of confusion.

It raises so many questions like: Should you differentiate thoughts from the rest of the narrative? If so, how? And if you don’t use direct thoughts, will it distance readers?

In this article we’re going to explore:

• What internal thoughts are (and what they’re not).
• What options are available for formatting thoughts.
• What thoughts look like in different Points of View.
• How each method influences the distance between readers and characters.

Providing readers with truly memorable stories requires complex and authentic characters, but to provide the kind of meaningful character traits and motivations that keep readers intent throughout a story and pondering its characters long after they close a book, you need to go much deeper than the standard Character Profile checklist.

The trouble is, deficient characters lead to weak stories. So, it's not enough to figure out where they came from, you need to make their thoughts and actions relevant to the plot.

Too often, when working with authors, I find missed opportunities in this area, which leaves readers not quite satisfied. The consequences of not delving deeply enough into a characters psyche are:  

• Characters behaving in ways that aren’t believable, based on their previous thoughts and actions;
• Two dimensional characters who readers don’t care enough about to feel an emotional response; and/or
• Puppets who are forced through the story to serve the plot.

All of which can lead to unpublished manuscripts languishing in bottom drawers.

The key to bringing out the best and worst in our characters, is to make their thoughts and actions relevant to the plot. 

Whether you start with plot or character, to create a dynamic story, you need to tie the two together and this means knowing which parts of their personality and backstory you can use against them, and which abilities you can harness to give them a fighting chance.

​It’s not enough to fling mud at the wall and see what sticks, you have to know which parts to use and how to leverage them for the benefit of the story.