How to Write Concise Dialogue that Rings True

Author: Sandy Vaile 
First published on the Writers in the Storm blog 03/05/23


​Dialogue is a powerful tool in fiction because it enables readers to get to know characters without the author telling them how to feel or information dumping what they need to know.

But how do you make dialogue believable and capable of communicating vital information succinctly, while captivating readers?

Speech predates written language by tens of thousands of years and is ingrained in our daily lives. It’s the basis of storytelling, so it makes sense to use it to it’s full advantage to develop characters, advance the plot, increase pace and create tension.

The last thing we want is for dialogue to ramble unnecessarily, be overly stilted or sound forced, leading readers to skim over it and not connect deeply with our characters.

Let’s explore what dialogue is, what makes it impactful, and how to write it concisely and authentically.  

 
I absolutely love dialogue because …

• It breaks long passages of narrative with dynamic information (showing).
• It enables readers to get to know characters on a personal level.
• It offers an opportunity to imply subtext through associated actions and tone.

​But it’s not always easy to write succinct speech that rings true, i.e. is relevant to what’s going on in the story, suits the character, and doesn’t feel like it’s forced. 

​To continue reading click 'read more' ...

What dialogue is (and isn't) 

Dialogue refers only to words that are spoken aloud by characters in our stories. It is highlighted with quotation marks (“) at the beginning and end of each group of spoken words.

A dialogue tag is text joined to, before, in the middle of or after dialogue, which makes it clear who is speaking. The most common being said.

Internal thoughts are a different matter all together and their formatting will depend on the Point of View you are using. Also see the Format Internal Thoughts in Fiction article.

What makes dialogue impactful? 

The success of our characters’ conversations comes down to these three things.

1. It’s concise – Succinctly communicated what needs to be said to move the plot forwards.
2. It’s authentic – Shows who the characters are, why they are there and how they feel about the situation and other characters.
3. It’s purposeful - It needs to be there to communicate important information, like planting clues or revealing backstory, not merely to give characters something to do. 

What makes dialogue concise? 

Just as we do when writing narrative, aim to say what is needed to communicate clearly, using the minimum number of words.
​
Although dialogue is the perfect place to let a character’s personality and speech patterns shine through, it’s not an excuse for them to ramble like we do during real conversations.

The truth is, natural sounding dialogue in a book doesn’t exactly replicate the way we speak.

If you listen to conversations, you will hear speakers waxing lyrical, stopping mid sentence as they forget what they’re talking about, changing tack when they suddenly remember something, butting in when they’re passionate about a subject, repeating themselves, using contractions, slang and colloquialisms, hesitating, stuttering, and tripping over all sorts of filler words and sounds, like ah and umm.

In a book we want to make dialogue sound realistic while getting our point across succinctly. 

Examples
When including an accent, foreign language or colloquialisms in dialogue, the general rule of thumb is to be sparing. Give the impression of the language style through the way words are put together or the odd specific word, rather than writing every word that way. Less is more and the odd word goes a long way to giving the impression of a language idiosynchracy.

It would be exhausting to read too much of this:

• “Hey, Mary, you gunna git ta doin’ those chores any time soon? ‘Em dishes fairly walkin’ out a door wit’ou’ ya.”

Instead, try the less is more principle: 

• Colloquialism - “Did y’all ever see a woman drinking beer before?”
• Foreign words - “I’ll see you in three weeks, au revoir.” Sally called, picking up her suitcase and blowing him a kiss.

Edit out unneccessary words

Edit out most repetitions, filler words and sounds that don’t enhance the dialogue’s meaning.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you can’t include some of these things; after all, we do use them in speech and they can be useful to convey a particular sentiment, like umm for hesitation or oh for surprise. But don’t go overboard and rely on them in place of pithy dialogue.
​
Example

What makes dialogue authentic? 

Conversations sound authentic when they reveal who the speaker is below the surface, because readers feel like they are getting to know characters on a personal level and understand how they feel in that moment.

What you want to avoid (in the majority of circumstances or where it’s a specific character trait) is characters sitting around talking to themselves. Most people don’t do this aloud, so it tends to come across as an inexperienced writer forcing information upon readers in an unnatural way. 

Create a unique character voice

Each character should have a unique voice, not just so readers know who’s speaking, but to express who the character is, where they come from, their opinions, specific dialects or colloquialisms, and their attitude to what’s happening in the story at that time.

Authentic speech is about the words a character chooses and how they put them together. Most people use contracts a lot, i.e. I don’t like that, rather than I do not like that.

Use speech to reveal different aspects of their personality.

• Are they the kind of person who speaks before they think or considers each word carefully?
• Do they trip over their words or speak eloquently?
• Do they avoid certain subjects or wear their heart on their sleeve?
• Are they a jokester, extrovert, solemn or belligerent? 

Don’t force dialogue
Forced dialogue (also known as on-the-nose writing) happens when:

• We include information that is out of context, i.e. not relevant to what’s going on in the story at the time; or
• It isn’t written the way a person would actually speak.

This is common when a writer needs to reveal backstory or critical information.

Example
Forced dialogue - Ruth backed away from the paddock gate. “As you know, Ben, I’m afraid of horses.”

If Ben already knows this about Ruth, she would be explaining it. Instead, show her fear through the narrative and her spontaneous reaction to seeing the horse.

Natural sounding dialogue - Ruth backed away from the paddock gate, behind which an enormous white stallion pawed the ground like a wild bull. “Hell no. I’m not going in there!”

Don't underestimate subtext

There is always subtext surrounding authentic speech. Thoughts and feelings that are implied rather than spoken. When we have a conversation in real life, we naturally assess the situation; reading facial cues, body language, actions and tone of voice to understand how the other person feels and what the true meaning behind their words is. Even what they might be hiding.

We’ve all seen chick flicks where the heroine professes her love and her partner is silent. That silence reveals more than words; he’s clearly not the man for her. Or if a friend changed the subject every time the conversation turned to childhood, even though you might not know why exactly, you can guess that their childhood wasn’t pleasant.

In and around dialogue, layer in details about:

• How the character got to this point;
• Why they are driven towards their current goal;
• Where they are and what’s going on around them.

Example
“The dog’s dead,” Mary stated matter-of-factly, asthough Sooty hadn’t been her best friend through childhood and loyal companion during her cancer treatment.
I hated the way putting on a brave face meant her not showing any emotion. Ever.
“How did it happen?” Anne chokes back a sob.
“Bloody Dad. I’ve told him a hundred times that he backs out of the driveway too fast.”
“Oh no! Is he coping okay? How about Fluffy? They were best friends.”

We learn a lot about these sisters from this short exchange. Far more than the words alone tell us.

• Their family pet is dead and the remaining pet is going to miss them.
• Mary previously had cancer and is dedicated to putting on a brave face no matter the situation.
• Anne is more emotional and thinks about how this will affect others. 

Hot tip for checking dialgue authenticity

You can more easily hear the authenticity and flow of dialogue if you read it aloud. Hearing the words as the characters say them, will pick up whether it sounds too formal, casual or forced (for that character). If it’s difficult to read aloud, then it’s going to sound awkward in the reader’s head too. 

What makes dialgue purposeful? 

When characters speak, there must be a reason for it. Not because the author wants to fill space or force information onto the page.

• Skip conversations about dull daily tasks.
• Remove unneccessary parts of of conversations like greetings and farewells. You don’t need to include every part for it to be meaningful and sound realistic.
• Eliminate mundane chin-wagging. It might be a part of real conversations, but if it isn’t adding value for the reader, then cut it.

 
Example
People may greet one another when they first meet, but you don’t need to write every “Hello, how are you?” and “I’m well thanks. How are you?”. Get straight into the meaty parts. The reason the dialogue is there.

Likewise, characters don’t always have to say “Goodbye” when they hang up the phone. It’s implied.

Does your dialogue ring true? 

There are no hard and fast rules about how much dialogue to use. It comes down to personal preference and whether characters are alone or with others.

When you add dialogue to a story, don’t get so focused on what is being said that your forget what’s happening around the characters. The narrative around dialogue should be put to use to help readers picture the whole scene including:

• What the setting looks, sounds and smells like
• Where the characters are located within it
• What they are doing
• What’s happening around them
• Their mood 

Dialogue is a wonderful way to add immediacy to a story and make readers feel more involved in the lives of characters; it gets them out of their own heads and actively participating on the page, which is way more interesting that the author telling readers how to think and feel.
It’s worthwhile taking the time to make speech concise, authentic and purposeful. Make every word count. 
​

Bonus exercise

1. Search your manuscript for places where the Point Of View character is alone and reveals information through internal thoughts. 
2. Try putting them with another person and rewrite the scene, including a conversation between them.

​I’d love to know if you feel this improves the scene.